Prayer, Faith, and Love...

This will probably be the longest blog that I will ever write.  This is the story of my family...

"You don't choose your family.  They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."  ~Desmond Tutu

When I was 18 years old I had come to a point in my life where I was fed up.  I was away from God, living for myself and not for Him.  I grew up in church and had a great relationship with Christ, but a few years before, I had gotten hurt by the church that I was attending and was really confused about a whole mess of things...I will save that for a different post.  So I was doing my own thing, nothing terrible, just being a teenager...but acting like one who didn't know Jesus as her Lord and saviour. 

Like I said, I got fed up.  I knew that I was missing something.  I knew that I couldn't keep this lifestyle up.  So I made a decision in my bedroom one night to make a change.  I wanted to be close to my God again.  I missed Him.  I rededicated my life and that's really where my story begins...

Every night before I went to bed I would pray that God would lead me to where He wanted my life to go.  I prayed that He would bring the right people into my life that would help me stay on the right path.  Of course I was selfish and I prayed that He would bring a Godly man into my life.  I was sick of dating the wrong guys.  And since I still wasn't attending church it was difficult to come across good Christian guys.  

I prayed and cried out to God that He would send the man that He had made just for me.  Every night I asked God to bring me my future husband.  I know that probably sounds silly to some people, but it didn't to me at the time, and it still doesn't today.  

It wasn't long until my Mom started telling me about this guy that she knew from working at the pharmacy in Winn-Dixie.  She knew that he, at the time that she knew him, was a church going guy and just a "good kid".  I wasn't too interested but she took it upon herself to get his phone number and leave him a message to come see her at work.  Well he did, and to make a sort of long story short, we went on a blind date and soon fell madly in love.  His name is Ben...

You may or may not know that we were planning to get married in March of 2003, but I became pregnant with our first child...

We were young and stupid.  I can't say that I regret our choices because those choices gave us our first baby girl.  It ultimately led us to where we are today.

  

Ben and I cried in each other's arms over the choices that we made, even before we found out about me being pregnant.  We gave it to God and He forgave us.  

Any who, we obviously had to move the wedding up a few months.  

On October 19, 2002 I married my best friend, the man that I cried out to God for, the man that He made just for me! 

Our baby was due April 16, 2003.  We were so excited!  In January 2003 my blood pressure started to run high and I was starting to swell up like a balloon.  I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and put on bed rest.  My doctor set up a consultation with a Neonatologist, a high risk doctor, in Tampa on February 26th.  He did an ultrasound and looked over all of my other tests that my OB-GYN had previous ran.  He sent me over to the hospital and told me that our baby was very sick and they needed to deliver. 

I would have to have a c-section because she was breech.  So, I got all set up at the hospital with IV lines and all that fun stuff.  The doctor came in and told me that he wasn't going to do the surgery yet.  But if any little thing was to happen, then he would.  I wasn't going anywhere until the baby was born.  Later that night I got a head ache...something common when running high blood pressure.  The nurse gave me Tylenol-3.  After an hour or so my headache was getting worse.  I let the nurse know and she told me the doctor was on his way.  He came in and told me that we were going to go ahead and do the c-section and deliver the baby.  

While preforming the c-section they found that the baby had flipped herself and was not breech anymore and also had tied 2 "true knots" in the umbilical cord.  If I had not gotten that head ache, our baby girl probably would not be here today.  

She was born at 3lbs 3oz.  She was perfectly healthy, just needed to gain weight.  She stayed a month, to the day, in the NICU.  She had to be on a heart monitor until she was about 7 months old and we had to give her caffeine to keep her stimulated.  She came home on my birthday, March 27, 2003.  

She is now 8 years old and has the sweetest biggest heart.  She is so smart and so tender hearted.  I could not ask for a better child than Mikayla Denee'.  Mikayla, by the way, means 'gift from God'.  

In 2004 we were ready to have another baby.  Our next pregnancy was problem free.  We wanted a little boy.  I won't lie, I prayed for a little boy.  I even bought cute little socks with fire trucks on them.  I told Ben that it was an "act of faith".  :)
We had our little boy on July 6, 2005.  He was 7 lbs and 8 ounces.  We named him John Brayden, but we call him Brayden.  

He just turned 6 years old and is ALL boy.  He is FULL of personality and is so smart.  He keeps us laughing and on our toes.

In late 2006 we were again, ready to have another baby, our last baby.  We knew that we only wanted 3 kids. 

We got pregnant in January of 2007.  We were beyond excited of course.  In March I went for my first doctor's visit and found out that I had miscarried the baby.  We thought that I was 11 weeks along, but the baby had passed away at 9 weeks. 

Having a miscarriage was the hardest thing that I have ever went through in my life, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I blamed God.  I couldn't get over the fact that He had given me a baby just to take it away.  We had already picked out names...for a girl, Caydence Mackenzie and for a boy, Parker Noah.  It was a very trying, difficult time for me.  It was difficult for Ben too, but his faith was stronger than mine at that time.  I will explain more about that in a few.

We decided after a lot of thought and discussion to try one more time for our 4th and final baby.  We agreed that if anything went wrong with this pregnancy, then we would not try again.  It was too hard to go through the ups and downs.  In August 2007 we became pregnant with our 4th baby.

We went right away to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy.  It was confirmed, but when they performed the ultrasound, they couldn't find the baby.  They sent me to the hospital for more tests and better ultrasounds.  The doctor told me that I had an 'ectopic (tubal) pregnancy'.  Which means that the baby had found its way into my fallopian tubes and had to be taken out or it could cause my tube to rupture and that could kill me.  I asked the doctor if he was sure.  He called the Radiologist and said that he and the Radiologist were 99.9% sure.  They scheduled the surgery for the next morning.

Of course we were devastated. 

I went home and got on my face on the floor, prayed and cried out to God.  I asked for Him to reverse it, I begged.  I knew that we wouldn't try again for another baby and I just didn't feel like our family was complete yet.  I told Ben that I didn't feel like the doctor was right.  I asked him, "What if he's wrong?  Then we are killing our baby?"  I couldn't get that out of my head...if the doctor was wrong, then my baby would be gone.  The next morning I asked the anesthesiologist before the surgery about the possibility of the doctor being wrong.  He sent in my ob-gyn, who wouldn't have came in before the surgery if I didn't have any questions.  I asked my doctor what would happen to my baby if they were wrong.  He said that there was no baby and they weren't wrong.  I started to cry and he told me that we could just try again for another baby.  I told him no, that we wouldn't be trying again. 

After the surgery was over Ben came in and told me that the doctor came out after the surgery and told him that he went in to look around and found a "viable pregnancy" (I'll never forget those words).  It looked to be healthy, so they got out quickly and didn't disturb anything.  I was still pregnant and my baby was right where it was supposed to be!

When I went in for a check up a few weeks later, the doctor came and put his arm around me and said that I was so upset and if I hadn't had showed so much concern then he wouldn't have taken so much caution.  He had scheduled to do a flush procedure first.  That would have ended my baby's life.

Aslyn Elyse was born on May 20, 2008 at 6 lbs and 11 ounces.  Perfectly healthy and perfectly beautiful.  She is 3 years old now and is our precious "baby girl". 

She is a miracle.  I believe that the doctors were right and she was in my fallopian tubes, but God reversed it because I asked Him to and because I was obedient.

Our family is complete.  And even though it hasn't been an easy road, I know that everything happens for a reason.  God wouldn't have just let us go through the heart ache and sadness just because He can. 

I could be wrong, but I think the reason that He allowed these things to happen to me was to build my faith. 

I mentioned earlier that Ben's faith was stronger than mine during the miscarriage.  It was.  He would constantly tell me, "everything happens for a reason.  We have to believe that God has a plan."  (Not just with the miscarriage, but with every day things.)  Of course I didn't want to hear that.  But look what happened with Aslyn.  I cried out to God.  I believe that He worked through me to save my baby's life.  I had to believe that He would make it ok and He did. 

Because of all these things that I went through I have stronger faith.  I believe that He has it all planned out and even though we are in pain at the time, in the end, "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  - Romans 8:28

I have been shown favor.  I don't think that I have always deserved it, but look at what He has done for me and my family.  Look at what He has given me.  Look at the miracles God has done for me and my family.  I am blessed.  I am so UNBELIEVABLY blessed. 

Ben and I have been married now for almost 9 years and have 3 beautiful kids here and one waiting for us in Heaven.  We attend the church that Ben has gone to most of his life.  We have amazing friends and family. 

Ben recently got fired from a job that he had since before we got married...a job that was too demanding on him and our family.  A job that I cried out to God about every night.  We wanted a change from that job but was scared because it had always paid the bills.  It was our comfort really.  God made that choice for us. 

Ben was fired 2 days after Christmas and was without work for 2 and a half months...which was much needed time together as a family.  We had no income, but every bill got paid without having to borrow money from anyone.  God provided.

He now has a job that is close to home.  He is off of work and home with us no later than 6pm every night and is off on weekends.  We have never had this before, never. 

It's another answer to prayer.  God is amazing and has never failed us. 

I have learned through the years that if we keep our faith and always believe that God will see us through any obstacle, then He will and so much more. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11